Its not because I don't want to change it, Its because I'm not the one who could do it. I know I should be patience, understanding, I shouldn't feel this way, I have no reasons to feel bad, I know how things really are, and they are great.
But this so hard, painful, difficult to get over with, no matter how much I want to think it doesn't bother me it does, I thought I really forgot the damages but I guess not. It's an open wound that never heals, why I'm not letting myself to heal? why I can't trust?
Why I have to think bad? why I can't see just positive stuff, the good things, the things that I love? Why am I so scared to be hurt again? what I'm doing is only making that possible I could get hurt, because I'm making everything worst, so I NEED to get over it if I want this to work!
I really want it to work. I need this to work.