arrgg I just don't like it, yesterday was Kriss birthday and I had time to think a lot lately on how old I am, first thing that makes me realize I'm no a teen anymore was I couldn't enter to the country club, I'm suppost to be old enough to pay my own membership, hell no I don't have that amount of money and they make me feel bad because they say I'm supposed to be married by this age (WTF!!) then at kriss party they were talking about family, and kids, Kriss already had that, and I'm don't, and my best friend got engaged so I have to plan her bachelorette party, my mom sending me hints so I get married soon.
I don't want to deal with this now, I was talking with a friend (married,2 kids widow same age as I am) and I felt like I haven't done anything with my life and I'm about to be 30!! Part of me is jealous of my friends getting married, people who has kids, and I want my own house too! but I can't have all that since there is no money in my account and I'm not ready!! why people has to remind me every day that I haven't done all the things I'm supost to have done by now!!! I never felt the need of doing those things until now.