I'm exhausted

Physically and emotionally I'm tired of this situation, I can't sleep, my body hurts and I can't think with a clear mind, and I HATE this.
Why I can't get over it, I wish to have a cold heart and be able to forget, I want to stop the nightmares, the migraine,the pain in the neck, the fake smile I have to put on every day, people trying so hard to ignore the problem, and what is worst people asking all day how I am, I hate to pretend I'm happy because I'm not.
I need to work this out, I can't live like this, I'm NOT like this, I was a happier person, a better person, not this grumpy and b!"/# girl.